Thursday, 26 July 2007

things are getting desperate.

I hate my job. And I mean hate. I've had jobs I've disliked before (remember Tesco, anyone?) - in fact I've never had a job that I've liked - but this one has caused me to reach new levels of loathing. In the past I was always able to put work out of my mind when away from it and centre my life around my days off, but now the objection is so strong that it dominates even my days off - I can't relax and enjoy life fully, even enjoy it at 75%, when I know at some time soon I'll have to go back to that place.

When a colleague broke a bone and was signed off for 12 weeks I felt jealous and wished it was me. A broken bone seems more than worth it for 12 weeks off - people tell me that's an insane way to think but to me it seems perfectly logical. That place has seeped into my soul and is gradually killing any positive spirit I have left.

I am making progress in finding something new however, and have a phone interview next week, for a call centre job. Writing about it here might jinx me somewhat but no-one reads this anyway (I'm not saying that as a way of getting people to comment and say they do, because I honestly think that no-one does) and I have to do something whilst I wait for Flickr to upload my photos... Anyway, that shows how desperate I've got - if I get the job I'll be handling enquiries about credit cards, which is both boring and against my principles*. But it's daytime hours, only one Saturday in two (not two full weekends in three) and I won't be physically assaulted at work. Someone get me the £$%* out of my current job ASAP, please.

* Well, perhaps that's too strong a way of putting it - I have a credit card and don't think they're entirely morally corrupt; but I always vowed to do a job for the good of society, not for big business. Social care is gradually driving me completely insane however and unfortunately this is a time when I need to put my own happiness first.

I have spent the last few days in Dumfries and Galloway with my mum, sister and grandad. A very pleasant time indeed - lots of walks, lots of tasty meals, and it's a beautiful part of the country. Photos here, although unless you're an approved contact you won't be able to see them all.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry if this comment i'm about to make is in bad taste or if you take it as somewhat of an insult to your current situation which, by and by, i one hundred percent can relate to and commiserate on. This part here: 'When a colleague broke a bone and was signed off for 12 weeks I felt jealous and wished it was me.' made me laugh so much and so hard, i don't remember when i laughed so well. I used to go around my old job saying 'I want die.' and it rubbed off on other people so much so that we worked out a list of who got to die first, second and so forth. More to the point, one girl got vertigo and she couldn't walk straight or understand what people said and she was being sick all day long for a month, and the first thing i said when i was told about it was 'Oh, i wish it was me.' and fair to say i worked with a lot of cynics and witty people who shared my sense of envy over her terrible illness, or more correctly, jealousy that it wasn't oneself.

Anyway, i do visit your blog every time i'm online and i look at your flickr account very much too. I just sometimes think that any comments i could write would be rather bland and fruitless.

Good luck with that new job and i must say i do so adore people who have such dry wit in the littlest observations of daily life. I tend to cherish and treasure folk who share my sense of sarcasm and dry humour. Loooooooooooooooooooove! Katie

Anonymous said...

'....... I tend to cherish and treasure folk who share my sense of sarcasm and dry humour.'

(i was also meant to write 'as i find that these kind of people are very hard to come by' but i forgot.

Hannah. said...

Don't worry, it didn't sound bad taste at all. I guess I've equally bad taste for saying it in the first place, ha. And I meant it! I've actually tried to think of a way to break my arm (left one, mind) so I don't have to go in. Morale and turnover where I am are so low and so high respectively that I doubt I'm the only one to have wished it, either!

Hannah. said...

P.S. Have you ever been interested in joining flickr? I think you would like it.

Sentimental Geek said...

I enjoyed reading this entry as it's good to see you have hunour about the situation,although it's horrible that you feel so desperate about things.I think if working in a call centre for a while takes the pressure off then it is more than worth it and there's always time to do a "for the good of humanity"job later as your own health should come first.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if Uncles are allowed to post replies. It's certainly a new experience for me so I am probably doing this all wrong.
Anyway, vis-vis job. Break out of the mould now before it's too late. I am speaking as someone who drifted from college into Customer Service and have been doing the same thing for the last twenty five years because, for some reason, people only want to employ you to do something you have already done. I don't want this to sound all patronising but you have two major advatages. 1) You are young. 2) You have a brilliant education.
Therefore escape, break out, go abroad, follow your dreams. Do anything but don't stay where you are. Because one year becomes another, then another and then before you know it you have been stuck in a rut for ten years.
Anyway best of luck and love the blog page.
Uncle Nick

Anonymous said...

I work with your Uncle Nick, and am loving reading your words. Please, please don't waste your life and talent doing something you hate. You have endless amounts of enthusiasm which should be cherished and nurtured and this current job will destroy your spirit. Get out, feel free and take your talent where it will be appreciated!
PS - I work in a windowless box and don't see the light of day for 8 hours. Don't become me!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi, it's Fanny :).
I'd be jealous too if somebody broke a bone and had to be off sick for 12 weeks! Apart from the fact i wouldn't get any pay after the first 8 weeks, I think a broken bone is a small price to pay for being out of there :P.
I love the comments your uncle and his co-worker left - we should be braver, really. Let's look for good opportunities to really make something out of our lives.