pace is the trick.

I just deleted my urbandecayed blog. It never recieved any comments and (as my hidden hit counter proved) no-one bothered to visit it much, which is fine. I should learn to think things through before jumping in with both feet.

Over the weekend I filled up my flickr account and thus was obliged to delete photos or upgrade to a paid one, and being not very in control of my finances at the moment (and expecting a tax rebate soon) I decided to take the latter option. I'm pleased that I did - I now have limitless upload space and can create many sets. My urban decay photos are thus all in this set, my Blythe doll pictures all in this set and numerous other exposures are grouped together. Want a look at all of it? Here you go. Yes, flickr, I am hereby praising you in a blog and perhaps advertising you. Aren't you happy?

One thing that doesn't make me happy is shift work. I'm not technically even a full time worker yet it sure feels that way when all my free time is on weekdays (usually weekday mornings) when no-one else is about. It must be joyous to have every evening and weekend free, it truly must. Of course, my shifts wouldn't be so bad if the person who handles the rotas at my work did it with a sense of fairness - 50% of all the shifts are 0800 - 1600 but only 20% of the ones I do - I'm usually there from 1430 - 2230, and I have come to loathe it. It ruins the entire day when one has to work later - and several days in a row without being able to fully relax is not good for anyone's happiness levels. No wonder I sleep so much. Today I have a new worker shadowing me and watching what I do. This is good, yet surprising, because it proves the bosses do not think I'm entirely incompetent.

contradictions are my speciality.

I never intended this blog to become overtly personal, but perhaps it will become increasingly so. There is something quite freeing in releasing words out onto the internet, message in a bottle style, especially to this page which is probably not read by many people. I also like that this is public, it makes me think more carefully about what I will write. Quite a contradictory pair of things - I like writing here because I don't think many people read and yet I also like writing here because anyone could read and I am forced to choose my words carefully. Contradictions are my speciality.

Today I have been writing for roomthirteen.com, reviewing CDs as I always do. I've also been shopping, mostly for food and also for a new pair of slippers - slippers are thin on the ground at this time of year which is rather silly considering that Dundee rarely sees a temperature above 20 degrees in summer or winter. I got two crisp new pound notes in my change which was vaguely special since I hadn't seen one for a while and thought they were being phased out or something.

Everything has been overhung with the dread of having to work tomorrow, Thursday and Saturday. A job shouldn't ruin the rest of one's life but mine manages it. Tonight I will make gin cocktails and think of my Blythe doll who is coming over from Asia and probably watch 'A Scanner Darkly'; and most importantly I'll try to forget about it.